Bubba Hunt

I have a small problem with an unwanted guest named Willy the Weasel.
He showed up one winter dressed in his coat of white, with his little black tipped tail and nose. At that time he was an ermine, but a weasel none-the-less.(weasel in the summer, ermine in the winter)
We thought he was so cute. He made a home under my wood pile for a while, until I hauled off most of his house. He also got into trouble down the road at my neighbors place. It seems that he killed a chicken and was trying to drag the dead critter through a hole in the fence about the size of a hard ball. I guess he couldn't figure out why a chicken wouldn't fit through such a small hole that he could get through.
His favorite pass-time is raiding the bird feeder on the porch. Everytime Lin puts feed out for the birds, old Willy shows up for his hand-out. He's not much for bird seed, but the bread and everything else gets packed to his house.
This spring I found that he had taken up residence in one of my storage sheds. That dirty little rascal didn't have the common decency to go out side to take care of business. He was outside all of the time and it would seem that he would at least give me the common courtesy to not foul my shed. But not Willy!
He takes spells where he disappears for a few days at a time. I suppose he is down the street casing out the chicken house again.
My neighbor borrowed a trap to catch Willy, but has failed so far. Willy does have a problem though. That problem is me! Lin found his little calling cards on our deck. Now she is thinking of placing her hands around his little neck and squeezing firmly until he is in full respiratory arrest.
I am about to set a trap for Willy and end his reign of terror. A black bear broke into my shed a few years ago, and helped himself to all of my frozen clams, hamburger, and fish. He also chewed up a half dozen cans of coke to wash down all of the booty. The next day found the bruin in "bear heaven".
Presently old Willy is getting close to weasel heaven if someone doesn't adopt the nasty little rascal.
This week the grizzly bears have been killing chickens, turkeys, and ripping up garbage cans all over town. There has been dozens of bear reports. I guess the long winter has prevented the grass from growing on time and the salmon are not in the river yet, so the bears are having a hard time finding something to eat. People are also having to shoot them from getting mauled.
Maybe one will come by and catch Willy. The only problem with that is I will have them on my deck again too.
I have found big wet smears on my sliding glass door in the kitchen where the bears have rubbed their big noses.
If anyone out there has any idea on what I should do with Willy, please feel free to voice your opinion.
I will even arrange the adoption papers if you like.