Bubba Hunt

The first thing I heard this morning was my little wife saying, "It looks like another month of bad, freezing weather."
I raised one eye-lid and mistakingly asked, "How do you come to that conclusion?"
She said, "I just seen an old whiskered ground hog."
I knew it was going to be a special day.
I had managed to get out and do a lot of ice fishing and wolf hunting this winter. It had kept the "cabin fever" pretty much in check.
It had been below zero for weeks and weeks, after months of snow stacking up everywhere.
Lin went fishing with me whenever it wasn't too cold, but lately it had been too cold for anyone with brains to be out there. That fact excludes me most of the time.
The bad part is she has been exposed to the "cabin fever" virus more than I was, and it has left me walking on tip toes much of the time.
Today started out with the door bell ringing before I was out of the tub.
It seems that the old lady from over by the main road, came for a visit. She has a bad habit of showing up unannounced more than often.
She also does not drive, and is forever flagging folks down, pressuring them to buy her cigarettes while they are in town. It's very hard to get passed with her standing in the middle of the road. Actually, if you don't stop, she'll be found under your car and not in it.
Today she was on a special mission. All she wanted was someone to haul her to town for some shopping. It wasn't, "Could we haul her to town" the next time we went. It was haul her to town now!
I got dressed and yelled down to Lin, "Hon, I'm coming down stairs without any clothes on, so if someone is down there, they had better run and hide.It was the old "nude Bubba trick."
I went on to say that I was going to the laundry room to get my clothes out of the dryer. Lin yelled back, "Your clothes are not in the dryer!"
I yelled back, "I'm coming down anyways."
The old gal ( she's really not that old) ran into the downstairs bathroom, and then came out and was standing looking out the front door waving her arms around and still gabbing.
I sneaked down the stairs and then went on down to my office in the basement.
I called the next door neighbor and requested that his wife call Lin and see if that would break up the party.
Well, it didn't, so I called Lin's Mother in California and had her to call and interupt the conversation.
That second call worked fine. The only problem was the old gal went next door to hassle them.
The next time I see my next door neighbor I'll have to convince them that I did not send her over there.
I'm sure she will spread the story throughout the neighborhood how she managed to escape from the old perverts house over on the hill.
This is the most fun I've had in months, and I didn't even have to leave home to do it.
In spite of popular opinion, I'm not really an old Troll. I just don't care for the old "high pressure tactic", especially when it's below zero outside.
I must warn readers to "not try this at home! It can only be done by trained professionals, and old Trolls of course!"